When Rest isn’t Enough
In my last therapy session, after unpacking the sheer weight of this current season, my therapist said something that stopped me: “You need a daily self-care ritual.”
That surprised me because just a couple of weeks ago, I had what I like to call a self-care intensive. I was checking in daily with friends, staying active through exercise, and getting seven to eight hours of sleep. Each month, I get a massage, a mani-pedi, and some intentional rest, which often means doing nothing. Simply taking time to slow down and pour back into myself. But even with all that, I can feel that this season is calling for more.
Not more in the sense of doing, but more depth. More awareness. More honesty about how much life can truly take out of us, even when we are managing it well.
I am learning that, as my therapist said, “coping well does not mean we are not being impacted.” We can hold things together beautifully and still feel the quiet heaviness that underlies the difficult decisions and daily challenges we face. The small, everyday stressors, the mental load, the emotional weight, and the constant tending to others all chip away at our energy and peace.
So I am grounding myself in something simple and sustainable, as my therapist recommended:
Paying attention to what I take in each day, including conversations, emotions, and energy. Not everything deserves a permanent place in my spirit.
When a thought keeps circling back, I pause to name it and replace it with something true and steady. It is not about pretending everything is fine; it is about not letting unhelpful thoughts take root.
This is what my new self-care ritual looks like: noticing, naming, and nurturing. It is less about pampering and more about preservation. Because sometimes the most loving thing we can do for ourselves is not just to rest, but to stay aware of what we are carrying, and to remind ourselves that we deserve care while we carry it.
What would it look like to give yourself what this season calls for, not just what you have time for?
